Event Coverage: Calvinball in Richmond, VA

For those who don't remember Bill Watterson's classic comic, Calvin and Hobbes, there was a recurring plot element involving the game Calvinball. Calvinball is, essentially, sports combined with anarchy. It is a game with no permanent rules or equipment; instead, the rules are made up at random throughout the game and can involve any sporting equipment (or anything that can be used as such). The following are the "Unofficial Official Calvinball Rules," obtained from bartel.org:

Permanent Rule: You may not play the Calvinball the same way twice.

Primary Rule: The following rules are subject to be changed, amended, or deleted by any player(s) involved. These rules are not required, nor necessary to play Calvinball.

1.0. The following words in these rules are mostly freely interchangeable, the Primary Rule applies:

§ Can

§ May

§ Must

§ Shall

§ Should

§ Will

§ Would

1.1. All players must wear a Calvinball mask (See Calvinball Equipment - 2.1). No one may question the masks (Figure 2.1).

1.2 Any player may declare a new rule at any point in the game (Figure 1.2). The player may do this audibly or silently depending on what zone (Refer to Rule 1.5) the player is in.

1.3. A player may use the Calvinball (See Calvinball Equipment - 2.2) in any way the player see fits, whether it be to incur injury upon other players or to gain benefits for himself.

1.4. Any penalty legislation may be in the form of pain, embarassment, or any degradation the rulee wishes to execute upon the other player.

1.5 The Calvinball Field (See Calvinball Equipment - 2.3) should consist of areas, or zones, which are governed by a set of rules declared by players. Zones may be appear and disappear as often and wherever the player decides. For example, a corollary zone would enable a player to make a corollary (sub-rule) to any rule already made. Or a pernicious poem place would require the intruder to do what the name implies. Or an opposite zone would enable a player to declare reverse playibility on the others. (Remember, the player would declare this zone oppositely by not declaring it.) (Figure 1.5a and 1.5b)

1.6 Flags (Calvinball Equipment 2.3) shall be named by players whom shall also assign the power and rules which shall govern that flag (Figure 1.6).

1.7 Songs are an integral part of Calvinball and verses must be sung spontaneously through the game when randomly assigned events occur.

1.8 Score may be kept or disregarded. In the event that score is kept, it shall have no bearing on the game nor shall it have any logical consistency to it. (Legal scores include 'Q to 12', 'BW-109 to YU-34, and 'Nosebleed to Pelvic Fracture'.)

Another incongruence of the game is when it is played, by whom, and with how many players. It has no season and the athletes vary from game to game. The number of participants can vary from the single digits to the hundreds. In Richmond, Virginia there is an interchanging group of young adults who gather for games of Calvinball whenever there are enough willing participants able to schedule a session. The tradition began in 2008 and the fields have ranged from Belle Isle (the preferred venue), Scuffletown, Oregon Hill, and parks and backyards throughout the fan.

Tonight's game, scheduled for 9pm at 412 W Marshall, consists of the following players: Jacob Riggs, Lindsey Pritchard, Brian Wysong, Kyler O'Brien, Colin Bailey, and a man known only as Snack Snackerson. At the onset, there are no teams, though alliances may band and disband as the game unfolds.